Wife returns after a fine funeral
New York Times March 15, 1904: Declaring that the city falsely notified him that his wife was dead, and saddled him with the expense of a funeral for a strange woman, Ignacio Valente is suing the city for $250. About six weeks ago Valente quarrelled with his wife, Angelico, over the way she cooked macaroni. As a result the wife left, declaring she would rather die than return.
When Valente’s rage had cooled he became worried over his wife and started a search for her, reporting her loss to the police. He gave a careful description of the woman, and finally, on being notified that the body of a woman answering the description was at the morgue, he went there. He identified the clothing of the dead woman as belonging to his wife, but when shown the body, he said: “This woman was better looking than my wife,” “Death beautifies them all,” the morgue man replied.
Smothering his doubts, Valente says he had the body brought to his home, and attired in wedding dress used by Mrs Valente. The funeral was held and notice of the event was published in the Italian papers, and the real Mrs. Valente, reading it, started post-haste for her home. Real trouble followed this, and, when Valente had satisfied himself it was his real wife who stood before him, and he had buried the wrong woman, he could only restore peace by promising to buy his wife another wedding dress. Now he demands that the city pay him $100 he spent for the funeral of the wrong woman, $40 for wages lost through grief — and illness following the shock of finding his wife alive — and $110 for the bridal costume.
Laughable LinkedIn posts
Seems harmless, but actually dangerous
1. Lint: too much lint in a dryer can cause a fire. Gotta clean that stuff out regularly.
2. Water: 5 or 7cm of water is all that’s needed to sweep you off of your feet if it’s moving fast. Just 30cm of water will lift and sweep away a car.
3. Pushing someone’s face into a cake as a joke: some cakes have little wooden spikes inside to support the cake. Saw a post where a girl’s face was gored by one of these.
4. Pins: ER nurse “I had a teenage girl come from Home economics class. She was sewing and had a pin between her lips. I mean, who hasn’t done that? She sucked it in and it got lodged in her throat. While waiting for a scope she felt it dislodge and went deep into her main bronchial. She required major surgery.”
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