DEAR DEIDRE: A GUY I met on a gay dating site always finds an excuse not to meet up but I can see he goes looking for hook-ups when he is abroad.
I am 27 and open about being gay. He is 35 but very protective of his sexuality. We’ve had a friends-based relationship online for a year.
He told me he didn’t want anything sexual, which is fine by me.
I just want to meet him and his cute little French bulldog – he posts lots of photos – but there is always a reason why he can’t see me.
Yet he posted about looking for fun when he went to Frankfurt and Milan on business trips recently.
How can he look for completely random people in a foreign country for sex acts yet not want to see me?
Should I tell him how I feel?
DEIDRE SAYS: If you really want just to be friends, then his sexual adventures when he is abroad shouldn’t bother you. I think you feel so hurt because you want to be more than friends.
Be honest with yourself first, then tackle him if you still think it is appropriate.
But if he’s hiding his sexual identity at home, he may never be more than a distant friend for you.
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