I had a sexual relationship with a man of 51 when I was 15 and fear blackmail

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M a 17-year-old girl and stupidly had a sexual relationship with somebody who I think is dangerous.

I was 15 when we met. He was 51. We were friends but we agreed that when I found a boyfriend it would be over.


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This man forced me to do things to him I wasn’t ready for.

He would insist I did him sexual favours and send nude pictures to him. He once asked me to spend the night in his car in his garage and he refused to let me out until I screamed really loudly.

I’ve got a boyfriend now but he’s hassling me, sending gifts and texting my boyfriend saying we had sex, which isn’t true.

I’m scared he’ll blackmail me next.

DEIDRE SAYS: There are alarm bells going off and I’m afraid to confirm he’s groomed you. You were young and vulnerable. While none of this was your fault, he has taken advantage of you.

If he blackmails you the police will help – but don’t wait until then, report him right away. You may save somebody else going through what you did.

You can find guidance through the NSPCC, which has a new helpline for those abused under the age of 18 (nspcc.org.uk, under-18s: 0800 1111).

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