Lover rarely responds to my messages and blames his anxiety for lack of contact

DEAR DEIDRE: THE guy I am dating does not always respond to me when I text – but I can’t tell whether it is his anxiety flaring up or he is losing interest.

I am a 29-year-old gay man and have been talking to a man I met on a dating site three months ago.


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He is 23 and suffers with anxiety so I sometimes don’t hear from him for days or weeks.

But we connect on many levels and really hit it off when we met one time.

He has some days when his anxiety means he cannot leave the house.

I am patient but it does frustrate me when he doesn’t even check his phone or reply to messages.

How can I win him over so we can build a proper relationship?

DEIDRE SAYS: If he suffers from levels of anxiety that are over­whelming him, you can’t reasonably expect him to be keeping an eye on his phone.

Just coping with his panic attacks probably drains him.

Ask him to explain how his anxiety affects him so you understand where he is at.

My e-leaflet Coping With Panic Attacks could help you both.

Find support at Anxiety UK (anxietyuk.org.uk, 03444 775 774).

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