My ex still wants sex, even though we separated months ago

DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE us having separated months ago, my husband still expects sex.

I accepted long ago that we would not be together for ever.


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We have argued pretty much every day for the past five years.

He is 45, I am 46 and we have been married for 12 years.

We decided to call it quits last February. But to make it easier for our kids, who are seven and five, we decided to continue living together during the pandemic.

A couple of times he came knocking on my bedroom door in the middle of the night – he wanted sex and said we could “keep it casual”.

I stupidly agreed and we have slept together a few times since.

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Last month, he told me he had met someone at work and that they’ve been dating for about four months. Yet he still wants us to keep sleeping together.

Even though I’ve said “no”, he keeps knocking on my door in the middle of the night.

DEIDRE SAYS: You need to set some firm boundaries.

If you want to continue living in the same house, he needs to know sex is off the table. My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help.

Your children will pick up on the tension between you – my support pack When Parents Fall Out explains how to minimise the impact on them.

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