My husband left us but he comes home every other week to sleep with me

DEAR DEIDRE: A YEAR ago, my husband of three years walked out on me. But his version of leaving is that he comes home every other week, sleeps with me in my bed, eats at our table and plays with our kids as if nothing has changed.

Then after a week or so, he ups and leaves again to go back to his mum’s.

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I have known him for eight years and we have two sons who are aged four and two. 

Originally, he told me he had lost all romantic feelings for me. Now if I ask him what he wants, he says he is happy as things are.

DEIDRE SAYS: Having sex together will help you feel closer, but it would be best to stop while you clarify what you both want.

For the sake of your kids, and even if only how to work out how to split amicably, it is worth considering counselling. 

You do need to work out where your relationship has gone wrong if you are to have a chance of healing it, or whether it is time to split. Contact Tavistock Relationships (, 020 7380 1960).

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