REVEALED: What your kissing style says about your personality

What does YOUR smooching style say about you? As Harry Styles is mocked over THAT sloppy makeout with Emily Ratajkowski, romance expert details what your technique reveals about your personality

  • Harry’s kissing technique divided fans when he was spotted with EmRata 
  • A person’s make-out style ‘absolutely’ reveals things about who they are
  • For example, an aggressive kisser could be construed as pushy, an expert says

By now, you’ve probably seen the headline-making images of Harry Styles and Emily Ratajkowski passionately making out in Tokyo.

And it seems everyone’s got an opinion when it comes to kissing after fans were left less than impressed with his technique.

But what does your kissing style actually say about you?

Well a lot apparently, according to one expert.

While there are no ‘black or white’ rules, Andréa Demirjian, who wrote Kissing: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About One Of Life’s Sweetest Pleasures, says someone’s make-out style can ‘absolutely’ reveal things about their personality.

Harry Styles and Emily Ratajkowski made headlines over the weekend after they were caught on camera passionately kissing in Tokyo

For example, an aggressive kisser who’s not afraid to use some tongue could be construed as pushy or likes to be in control, but it could also mean they’re very passionate, Andréa, known as The Kissing Expert, told

On the other hand, a gentle snogger may like being submissive or could be a ‘go-getter’ outside the bedroom, but wants ‘someone else to take care of everything’ in their intimate moments.

‘What’s also interesting about kissing is that it’s so nuanced too, so with the fact that you can kind of get a sense of people’s personalities, it’s not as if [there’s] a black or white, hard and soft, ruling on things,’ Andréa, from New York, said.

‘What’s really fascinating about kissing is that the reality is cavemen were kissing as a way of gathering information on mates who were healthy to procreate. Even back then people were using it, it was a very much a functional thing.’

Andréa said cavemen would go around tasting the saliva of cavewomen to determine how suitable they were for childbearing.

‘As we come into our modern world, kissing is definitely something where we can get a sense of someone’s personality, we can get a sense of their romanticness as a person or their skillset as a kisser or a lover,’ she said.

Whether it’s open or closed mouth, or eyes open or closed, the author has shared her insights with FEMAIL about what your kissing technique says about you.

Aggressive kisser: May be construed as ‘pushy,’ but could just be ‘very passionate’

There may be more than meets the eye when it comes to an ‘aggressive kisser.’

Andréa Demirjian, known as The Kissing Expert, says your technique can ‘absolutely’ reveal things about your personality

‘One of the big things that I hear a lot about is when you first start kissing someone you might not necessarily want to be French kissing,’ Andréa told

‘And sometimes when someone comes in hard and fast, you could take that maybe they’re a little bit pushy, maybe they like to have the upper hand and control of the situation, or maybe they tend to think they’re always right, again I’m talking generalities.

‘But then again you don’t want to confuse it with them being very passionate, and kissing with tongue can really heighten desire and mutual pleasure.’

Andréa added: ‘It could also mean you enjoy actively kissing, you enjoy holding someone down, you enjoy rolling around. 

‘Maybe you’re just a straightforward, shoot-from-the-hip kind of person, there’s nothing wrong with those characteristics.’

Soft kisser: Submissive and lets someone else be in the driver’s seat

A kisser with a soft touch could be a sign they like taking a back seat when it comes to intimacy.

‘What that means is… sometimes you just enjoy laying back and letting someone else be in the driver’s seat,’ Andréa told

‘Maybe you enjoy being submissive or maybe outside of the bedroom you’re the go-getter.

‘So it’s nice when you’re at home, in the intimacy of your environment, to let someone else take care of everything.’

Pucker up! Andréa’s best tips for being a good kisser

Oral hygiene is key 

Good kissing starts with just taking good care of your mouth, it’s your instrument, Andréa said.

She recommends people brush their teeth and floss regularly because you want your breath to smell fresh.

‘Oral health is a start of a great kiss,’ the expert said.

Get rid of those chapped, dry lips 

The same care you take with the inside of your mouth applies to your lips.

Andréa advises people to keep them moisturized and hydrated. 

‘I always say you don’t want your kissing dinged on a technicality, so make sure your mouth is always primed and ready for kissing, you never know when a kiss is going to present itself,’ she added.

Be receptive to your kissing partner 

People can always read your mood and get a sense of your energy.

If you’re open, easy, laughing, smiling, or your eyes are twinkling, that’s a wonderful invite to kiss, Andréa said.

If you’re aloof or stiff, people won’t know how to read your signals, she added.

She advises letting people know you want to kiss them through touch. 

Andréa said people start stroking their own hair, fiddling with their bodies – much like birds or animals who strut and preen – to signal for a kiss.

Kiss someone more than once before writing them off

Sometimes when you kiss someone for the first time ‘skyrockets’ don’t go off, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be compatible, Andréa said.

The first kiss can be awkward for people, so give them a second chance, or even a third if you really like them, she advises.

Keeping your eyes open or closed? Intimate either way

There’s always much debate about this issue: do you keep your eyes open or closed when you kiss? 

Andréa said a person who opted to shut their peepers ‘may be bit of a dreamer.’ 

‘[They like] to get lost in the kiss, they’re swimming in that deep blue sea where time has no meaning,’ the author said.

On the other end of the scale, someone who wanted to keep their eyes open during a kiss could be ‘more curious’ and liked to ‘drink in every moment.’

‘Kissing with your eyes open and looking into someone else’s eyes is also really, really intense and really personal because you’re looking deep into that other person’s soul,’ Andréa told

‘Maybe in the beginning people would be intimidated with kissing with their eyes open because they don’t want that intimacy just yet as they’re getting to know someone, or maybe that’s a really good way to get to know someone, it’s intimidating because you’re being stripped away.’

There’s always much debate about this issue: do you keep your eyes open or closed when you kiss? (stock image)

Mouth open or closed? 

A person who likes to kiss with their mouth open is ‘often thought [to be] confident, they’re taking charge, they’re romantic, they’re sensual,’ according to the kissing expert.

‘And kissing with your mouth closed, convention [dictates], “Oh that person tends to me more conservative it.” But that doesn’t mean they’re any less romantic or intense,’ Andréa told

‘Sometimes the person who kisses with their mouth closed is very much a still-waters-run-deep kind of person, so if that closed mouth kissing is with someone special and you’ve got that connection, [it] can really take your breath away.’

At the end of the day, Andréa said it always came down to the person you’re kissing.

‘If there’s that connection, or that chemistry and the pheromones, and the synchronicity of you and your lives, and just even the physicality of your lips are mixing right together – no matter whether you’re being passive or aggressive, open eyes or closed eyes, open mouth or closed mouth – that kissing is sublime,’ she said. 

‘I think that you can really tell how a person feels about you when they’re kissing you, your kiss doesn’t lie, so you get a sense of that person’s level of attraction, or care, or interest in you at that moment.

‘They do say when people have been together for a while, maybe they’ve drifted apart or maybe someone is looking or playing outside of the relationship, generally it’s in the kiss that you can tell something is off.’

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