Normally we’d use this first paragraph to ruminate on drinking habits, and shed some light on the things many of us have in common when it comes to our relationships with alcohol.
Today, however, it’s an ode to cocktails in cans, which are truly the drink of the people.
M&S’s mojito in a can (widely popularised by Diane Abbott) is probably better than most mojitos that mixologists spend ages on.
They’re cost-effective, portable for the gal or guy on the go, and have been the friend of many a cross-country train passenger.
The road beer is over, a new journey juice has arrived and is here to stay.
Anyway, the reason we’re thinking about canned beverages is because our Spill It diarist this week is partial to a couple on the way to a gig (but in a cab, not on a train, which is far more classy).
We’re speaking to Physics*, who’s 32, lives in Hitchin, Hertfordshire, and works as a buyer. Find out what she drinks in a week.
FINALLY, it’s the end of the week! 5pm can’t come soon enough… I sprint out of the office, avoiding the office drinks (swerving alcohol is easier when it is paired with enforced socialising) and head to the train station to meet my boyfriend.
It’s his birthday this weekend so we are heading to the coast with a stop over tonight in a tiny Suffolk village (because it split the driving in half and because I found a cheap deal on a pretty wacky-looking cottage on Airbnb).
By the time we arrive, take the bags in and scope out the place, it’s 7.30pm and we head to the pub which is conveniently located three doors away (successful Airbnb booking!).
The pub is VERY LOCAL and it’s quite obvious that everyone else in there knows one another. Despite that they seem pretty friendly and, shockingly, a pint and a G&T is £6.30. This baffling turn of events encourages us to order two rounds instead of one before we head back to the cottage for dinner, a bottle of red and some ravey-Xmas music we found on the drive down.
Wake up pretty early and do some casual scratchcard gambling in bed (win £7… we are very good at scratchcard gambling) then head out for an early morning walk around the village as it was dark when we arrived so we didn’t get to properly see the place.
There is a windmill. That’s all.
But either way, it’s a lovely morning and the cold Autumn air ensures we can hit the road with a clear head – no hangover in sight!
We have a distillery tour that starts at 11.30 so need to be there pretty promptly. Park up at the pub we are staying in that night (again, conveniently located for boozing) and walk into town to the distillery.
Tour obviously ends with a tasting during which we get to try eight drinks – approximately 1/3 shots of neat vodka (x2), gin (x4) and whisky (x2). Neat vodka probably isn’t to my taste at midday, but hey! It’s the weekend! Following that we tour the town pubs during which time I drink three G&Ts and one LOVELY mulled wine.
Then we walk back to where we are staying, visiting another local pub where I have two more G&Ts before heading back for a lovely dinner, accompanied by a bottle of red and, by this point, some rowdy, semi-drunk political chat.
It ended up being a pretty late night last night but we are still up by around 8am and chill out in the room for an hour or so before heading to breakfast. Walk back down to the beach for a morning stroll to clear the head before we head back home at around 10.30am.
On arrival back to Hitchin we decide to hit the shops, but I make sure we are back in a pub by a reasonable hour so that I can enjoy my obligatory Sunday Bloody Mary. That gives us a taste for it and we end up heading to my local for a glass of red wine before dinner.
Then it all gets a bit boozy as my boyfriend’s parents meet us and we order a bottle of red to share, then they join us for a roast at a different pub where we have another bottle of red between us.
Me and my boyfriend then head back to his where the sensible option would have just been to head to bed, BUT INSTEAD… you guessed it… we split another bottle of red wine! Secretly quite pleased that this is the perfect Sunday and it’s my boyfriend’s birthday tomorrow as well, so I have managed to shake off the Sunday blues.
Again manage to wake up sans-hangover and head to work.
A busy day but I have to leave on time as I’m meeting some of the boyfriend;s family for his birthday meal. I arrive 15 minutess late but there is a glass of prosecco waiting for me which I am very glad of!
End up having a glass and a half before moving on to a pint of cider. Then everyone comes back to mine and I have one more cider along with some birthday cake, an ideal Monday night!
Up to this point it’s been a pretty boozy week. I pull it back on Tuesday.
After work I head round to my friends house, we catch up with chats while she does my nails and once I get back it’s late so I end up eating some dinner and falling asleep on the sofa.
End up staying quite late at work and so don’t get back to mine until 7 o’clock. Do some chores that I have been putting off all week and head to my boyfriends but manage to have a sensible one and keep off the alcohol.
Am working in London for the day. Start the day off feeling like a super-hero, completing a 6.30am gym class – but in reality this just makes me hungry all day.
After my meeting I head to the shops and a very kind lady in John Lewis asks if I want to try some cocktails. Disappointingly they are just tiny shots which don’t count as any units but I end up buying two cans for when I meet my friend later (I am a marketer’s dream!).
After work I meet my boyfriend for drinks… selfishly because my friend isn’t free until 7pm and I can’t deal with my own company for all that time! We head to a bar, I have a G&T while he has a pint.
Then a different bar… where we end up buying two more rounds (my friend joins us for the second one).
Me and my friend are heading to Ally Pally for a gig. We are obviously feeling pretty flash because we get a taxi there and drink the aforementioned cocktails-in-a-can during the journey. Once there things go downhill very quickly.
Worried about having to head to the bar during the gig we buy two drinks each – double G&Ts. However, what we didn’t realise was that having both hands full isn’t ideal for dancing so they end up being drunk very quickly.
Friend heads to the bar and gets us one more each, after which point I do the same. The night descends into utter drunken chaos. A lot of energetic dancing occurs. We become those obnoxious people on the tube and then even more disappointingly, my friend has a hotel, so I end up being that person SOLO at the train station.
Lots of drunken chats at Kings X, I end up having to shake off some people who are even more worse for wear than myself and also heading back to Hitchin. Drunken logic tells me to get on a train to Luton to escape them.
I have some very pleasant (for me, probably not so much for them) train chats with some Harpenden locals and then end up paying £34 for a very extravagant and unnecessary taxi back to Hitchin. Lesson learnt, I will not be taking this route again!
Stumble in at 1.15am… remember to down two pints of water, take two ibuprofen and set 3 alarms for work tomorrow… this should be fun!
Total units for the week: 63.7
Total units in a week recommended by the NHS: 14 units (for anybody regardless of gender). Obviously, if you’re able to get lower than this, even better!
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*name has been changed
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