Lauren Goodger has revealed the heartbreaking gesture she has planned for her baby daughter's funeral.
The former TOWIE star, 35, was devastated to announce the tragic death of her baby girl Lorenna earlier this month after returning from hospital.
Now, the grieving mum-of-one has revealed she is planning to give baby Lorena a teddy bear at her funeral.
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The reality star told OK! magazine: "Lorena has a teddy with her now and I’ve got a matching one, which I keep with me. When I say my final goodbye to her, I’m going to swap them over. I’m going to have the one she’s had, and she will have the one I’ve had."
Lauren said she wanted to "put on a brave face" for her older daughter Larose on the day, but admits the pain hits her hardest at night when she feels "alone" without Lorena.
She said: "When I get into bed in the evening, I just want Lorena there next to me."
"I feel like I can keep strong in the day for Larose, but at night, that’s when it just hits me. That’s when I feel really, really sad and I miss her so much," added Lauren.
The TOWIE alum explained she's happy to be around her late baby's clothes, and that she'll eventually donate them to a charity helping other mums who have lost their babies.
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However, she confessed she can't bare to look at her baby bouncer and that she can't have it in the house as it's simply too much pain to bare.
Charlie's family helped her out by moving everything they had for Lorena into the annexe, even taking down the birthing pool the couple had set up.
One beautiful gesture has come from Lauren's friends who decided to make her a gold locket full of photos of Lorena.
Lauren told the publication she has shown her eldest daughter Larose photos of her sibling and that Larose plays with the locket.
Lauren Goodger's poignant final Instagram post before baby daughter's tragic death
However, she said Larose will know more about her sister when she's older.
Lauren also revealed she was able to spend 24 hours with Lorena after she passed, at a special room in the hospital, and that it was here where she cried the most.
She said she kissed her baby all over and all through the night and couldn't sleep, instead spending the night looking at her, touching her, and telling her how much she loved her.
Lauren's partner Charles, 25, has also been by Lauren's side throughout the horrific hospital ordeal.
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The pair have been awaiting the results of a post-mortem and are hoping Lorena can move into a funeral home this week.
Understandably, Lauren said she "never thought" she'd have to plan a funeral for her child as it shouldn't happen, and that the couple are still working out what they want from the day.
But they know it will be small and completely private affair with just close family.
If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at Sands (stillbirth and neonatal death charity). You can call them on 0808 164 3332 or email [email protected]
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