‘Prince Harry might be writing a fairytale, but therell be no happy ending’

Once upon a time, lived a British Prince who fled his palace and family to lead a life of privacy with an American actress.

Little did he know, the actress was secretly a witch who casted a spell on the poor Prince. Now, he’s become a puppet under her control.

The Prince did everything he could to break the curse, even his family back in Britain tried their best, alas their powers were of no match to the wicked witch’s strength.

But, will they live happily ever after? We’re yet to find out.

It’s an unfortunate tale, the once much-loved Prince Harry, grandson to the Queen, has turned into a figure most British people despise, and certainly someone we no longer respect.

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The cheeky, rebellious young prince was someone we could all relate to in the Royal Family — never did I anticipate this transition into a callous and fame-hungry man that he has become today.

A former war hero from Afghanistan has evolved into this puny lap dog that barks and fetches at the beck and call of his wife, Meghan Markle. It’s sad to witness his downfall.

Do I blame him entirely? Of course not. Everything changed in 2016 when Harry met Meghan on a blind date in London. The Z-list Netflix actress knew exactly what she was entering: a world of fame and scrutiny, a much larger platform she had every aspiration to utilise to further her notability.

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Nonetheless, she couldn’t handle the restrictions placed upon British Royals, and so it was decided, time to leave the institution that allegedly "abused" her.

By the way, this was after draining the taxpayer for their wedding; fooling us into believing that they would be a refreshing and modern future of the Monarchy; foreign trips; red-carpet events; and impromptu meetings with Disney execs.

Soon after, she grew tired of the limitations and the tiresome duo decided to completely abandon their royal responsibilities in favour of “privacy” across the pond. Well, that’s what we first thought.

Surprise, surprise, Prince Harry is ditching the privacy route and making headlines yet again, this time over news he is releasing a memoir in 2022. Supposedly, it will be an “accurate and wholly truthful” account of his life.

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Hmm, much like the Oprah interview which we thought would be truthful? Instead, it was littered with exaggerations to suit their agenda against the Palace — I don’t believe their promises, nor should anyone else.

The publisher, Random House, released a statement which read: “In an intimate and heartfelt memoir from one of the most fascinating and influential global figures of our time…" What a load of bull. A man who has done nothing but disparage his family who have funded his lifestyle up until now; a man who has relied on nepotism to land top jobs (that B in A-level art certainly didn’t help); a man who will say pretty much anything if there’s enough zeroes; is not a man who anyone should consider “fascinating” or “influential”.

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This soporific memoir will detail the Prince’s journey so far, from childhood with Princess Diana to the present day. I couldn’t think of anything more sedative and feel desperately sorry for anyone considering buying this claptrap. In fact, the dumbo prince isn’t even writing the book, it’s being ghost-written by Pulitzer prize-winning writer, JR Moehringer.

I sincerely hope that $20million he’s been offered is going to charity. Can’t really believe much of what he says nowadays.

Don’t you find this all is rather coincidental? The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee is also taking place next year, and I can’t help but think this nonsense he’s publishing is a distraction from what the focus should be on.

After a tragic year, including the passing of the Queen’s husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, give Her Majesty a break and avoid the agony of ripping a part your family in a revealing memoir about how "woeful" your life has been surrounded by palaces, servants, and taxpayer money. What can you expect from the man who shamelessly lambasted his family on American TV whilst his grandfather was dying? The bar was set very low from that point onwards.

It’s high time this man and his wife are stripped of their titles. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex names should be removed immediately. It’s irrefutably obvious the royal titles have offered immense commercial value, particularly book deals, TV shows, and other big-money partnerships that have exploited the royal connection.

Cut. Them. Off.

How can he mercilessly complain about the royal association – even in a statement regarding the new book, he said: “I'm writing this not as the prince I was born, but as the man I have become." – then, on the other hand, make full use of the royal ties when he deems it necessary for materialistic gain.

This act is transparent and those who can’t see through the smokescreen aren’t looking hard enough.

I’m afraid, this man is all words and no action, ironically he can’t even manage the words without a ghost-writer.

The couple had every ambition, and still do, to air their dirty laundry for everyone to see. It’s tacky, classless, and mortifying, words you wouldn’t traditionally associate with a prince. But, readers, this man is no prince. He’s a sell-out. Plain and simple.

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Since entering the States, the pair have been involved in various television shows, including the now Emmy-nominated Oprah interview, which sent shockwaves around the world, reverberating the message that this pair have no loyalty or sense of duty to an institution that welcomed Meghan with open arms, even more than her own family.

Whilst her slothful father, Thomas Markle, sold pap pictures, letters, and probably slumped on a sofa, Prince Charles walked Meghan down the aisle to meet her future husband. Around the same time, Meghan’s half-sister, Samantha Markle, is attacking her sister on any morning show that will have her.

Oh no, but the Royal Family are insidious, racist, and evil — at least that’s the perception Harry and Meghan have portrayed. Funnily enough, there wasn’t one mention of Meghan’s family during that tell-all interview with Oprah. Talk about manipulating the narrative.

The nation fell in love with this couple; the press celebrated the wedding on every front page in the land; thousands flocked to Windsor to get a glimpse of them, and in return, they betray their family and country in the most humiliating way possible. Perhaps Meghan isn’t too dissimilar from her father, after all, both are willing to do anything for a bit of cash.

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One would hope this would be the end, sadly not. The Hollywood Twits have signed a string of deals with the likes of Netflix, Spotify, Apple TV+, book deals, and a host of other media opportunities and executive appointments to launch them into the spotlight. A far cry from their search for “privacy” when they first went to Canada, and later their multi-million dollar mansion in California (the place everyone goes when they want a private life).

I will say one thing. It’s about time we give the Hollywood Prince and the Duchess of Defiance their long-sought after privacy. The only way to ensure this is by not buying the book. After all, privacy is what they want, so privacy is what they will get.

So, Harry, if you want a quiet life in California, your wish is our command and so we won’t bother reading your attention-seeking memoir. Finally, you and Meghan can live a life in the shadows: undisturbed and isolated. Which is what you always wanted, right?

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